a Soldier's blog

Hard To Put Into Words

Well, just as I start many of my posts, sorrrry for not posting in a while.  As you each can imagine, I have been enjoying life at home with Tiffany, playing with our dogs, house projects, traveling to see family, family traveling to see us, and just adjusting back to what we call normal life.  I started back with work in the beginning of December, and things are going well there.  It was nice to be received with open arms by everyone I came in contact with.  Other than someone stealing the 'support our troops' magnets off the back of my truck, I have not had any bad experiences as I adjust to life not in Iraq.  I like being able to see my wife feel safe and enjoy tasks that I used to find annoying like taking out the trash (well, maybe just less annoying, haha). 

Christmas and New Years were excellent holidays that I feel unbelievably blessed to have experienced at home.  But as enjoyable as they were, I could not fully engulf myself in happiness because of thoughts about fallen brothers in my unit.  As Christmas morning came, how did the children of those troops cope as they wished to have the best Christmas present ever waiting by the tree (their Dad back)?  Their homes are far from empty because of the many angles who flock to their pain.  But, it is pain nonetheless, and those endless hugs from Dad now only take the form of a memory, rather than reality.  If Tiffany and I are blessed with children in our future, then those quick hugs at the soccer field after a loss, or just before a prom, take new meaning to me, and I already plan to hold on that much longer.     When the ball dropped on new years, were the grieving families smiling even a little bit?  I hope so, and pray that smiles pried themselves out due to the memory of their fallen hero. 

While in Iraq, my squadron experienced the loss of six Soldiers.  I have written about most of them in this blog site, but feel the need to share their names and memory again with you all.  Here is a picture that lists the Soldiers who were killed in our area of operations before my unit arrived.  One picture is of our Squadron Commander, who was saluting a memorial set up for a fallen troop. 

This next picture found its way as my background at work, and will probably be there for some time.  It lists the guys from my squadron who died during our tour.  The first one is Staff Sergeant Eric M. Steffeney.  He was an Explosive Ordnance Disposal expert, and routinely saved the lives of troops in my unit.  He was attached to us

from the 82nd Airborne Division, and is ______ missed by his wife Theresa, children, and other family members.   If I just wrote 'missed' then I feel that I would be understating the feeling.  Also, I can't just plug in words like 'immensely' or 'incredibly' before 'missed' because it simply is not something that I can understand.  Only those who live day to day without their loved one understands, so if you or someone you know is quick with words like, 'I understand', then please be careful.  Neither you nor I fully understand that pain.  After Eric was killed, the makeshift street near where he stayed was named after him.  Also he was the first in our FOB's Memorial Garden, which stands next to the chapel.  Rest in Peace SSG, 23 February 2005.

Thank you Eric for your life and service to our country..

The next Soldier in the Memorial Garden was another troop who's smile lite up the room.  Sergeant Paul W. Thomason III was a Soldier that I met while riding the roads in Iraq.  One day I met him, had a great conversation about things other than being in Iraq, and then two weeks later he was gone. I found myself having to talk to people about the loss and fortunately I had an excellent troop Commander that I reported to.  SGT Thomason was one of his troops as well and we spoke about the letter that he wrote to Paul's family.  This Commander knew his troops, and after Paul was killed, this Captain (now Major) had a facial expression that I had never seen before.  It was an expression of pain, anguish, worry, anger, and fear of losing even more troops.  The Commander told me that out of all of the things he had done in Iraq, writing the letter to his family was by far the hardest.  Like Eric, Paul has multiple children who now live without a Father who was so loving.  Rest in Peace SGT, 20 March 2005.

Thank you Paul for your life and service to our country..

Staff Sergeant Mark O. Edwards was a friend of my Executive Officer.  We got word that he died in his sleep.  I still do not know the details of why it happened, but it simply happened, and the mourning began.  We hope and pray that it was painless, and he went softly into the arms God.  Our Executive Officer, a fellow Lieutenant, spoke of how great Mark was, and how much he will miss him.  I never met Mark, but heard that he was a great Soldier.  Rest in Peace SSG, 9 June 2005.

Thank you Mark for your life and service to our country...

The next three Soldiers died within seconds of each other.  Staff Sergeant Asbury "Freddie" Hawn II, Sergeant Shannon D. Taylor, and Specialist Gary L. Taylor Jr. were killed in the same attack, which shocked my platoon.  We could not at first believe that three were killed.  We wanted to keep asking, "Are you sure it is not one killed and two injured?", or some variation of that question.  Once the confirmation came that it was three who died, then again reality hit even harder about where we were.  Various guys in my platoon had IEDs blow up near them or mortar rounds land less than 50 meters near them, but none were killed.  I even had one incident in which a suicide car bomber blew up behind the vehicle I was in.  Fortunately our gunner was not killed, and we checked on each other after the blast shook our vehicle.  So, it hits home in my heart and mind that I could have joined these great Soldiers in the afterlife.  As I still have eight years till my twenty (retirement), I still face the reality of being in the enemy's sights.  Well, we all need to never forget that even at home, we are in their sights.  They don't care if they kill children, the elderly, a Colonel, or a Private.  The bravery of these fallen Soldiers still amazes me, and what is more amazing is how God holds them and us in His hands.  Rest in Peace SSG, SGT and SPC 14 August 2005. 

Thank you Freddie for your life and service to our country..

Thank you Shannon for your life and service to our country..

Thank you Gary for your life and service to our country..

SGT Kevin Downs was in the vehicle when Freddie, Shannon, and Gary died.  Kevin was blown clear out of the vehicle.  When we heard about his condition, the word was that he had two broken legs, a broken arm, broken pelvis, and 60% of his body was burned.  If you want to read how Kevin is doing, please visit http://scadvocate.com/kevin_downs.htm.  His medical status has improved, and we pray that he continues to make major strides towards recovery.

Thank you Kevin for driving through the pain of recovery, and being such a strong Soldier.  Those in the US who never really feel the pains that pay for freedom owe you so much.  You and all the other Soldiers who were injured or killed have absorbed the pains (cost) of freedom.  Even though you are enlisted and I am an officer, I salute YOU first for who you are..

 

“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” --Thomas Jefferson.

I still have difficulties with this quote, but feel that is disappointingly true...

Journey Home

Well, my tour in Iraq has come to an end.  Some of you might already know this, but many might not so I wanted to officially post on it.  Whenever the military moves thousands of troops from one place to another there are always glitches along the way.  Sure this trip home had its share of speed bumps, but nothing seemed to bring us down as we did the 'duffle bag drag' everywhere.  Other than scorpions trying to get into your bed, the only real rough part of heading home was seeing others deal with living in really close quarters with absolutely no privacy or room to breath.  For everyone patience was in short supply for the past month, and it seemed that most anything was annoying, too loud, crude, or petty.  We all realized that it was the situation that made things rough on us.  Looking back, I am very proud of my guys for acting so professional and unwavering in our mission to help the Iraqi people.  We even had some last minute maintenance jobs that tried to get the best of us, but our guys showed that going home motivation and knocked them out. 

Apparently most of my guys aspire to be comedians because jokes were in no shortage within the platoon.  Whenever someone left something in our common area, it was found later on strapped to the kitchen table, or wire tied to the ceiling.  My platoon sergeant and I got rushed and taped to our bunks on the night before we left the camp.  Even though SFC C and I were the victims, we loved it and had a blast.  At first I struggled, but then that just invited more muscle to jump in on the action to subdue me.  Once we were taped down, they carried the bunks outside and joked about displaying us in front of our Troop headquarters.  Thankfully they did not go that far with the joke, but if this was our annual training they would have definitely gone the next step.  In the end, one of our squad leaders gave me a knife to cut my way out. 

It was great to see the camp in our rear view mirror, and be heading to a land we call home.  My platoon sergeant and I would just look at each other and shake our heads.  It was that unspoken sigh of relief for us and each person leaving that day. 

Once we got to our destination in the US, we unpacked our duffle bags again, and were in disbelief about where we were.  It was odd to see people walking around in civilian clothes, and with no body armor or weapons (besides the troops training for their tour in Iraq or Afghanistan).  Even as I walked to the mailbox today, I am thankful not to have to worry about incoming mortar or rocket fire.  Its a great country    that we live in today, that it is our right to bear arms, yet most feel safe enough not to carry one every where they go.  While at our demobilization site, we had our normal medical checks, and briefings before we were released to go home.  During our off time a few of us ate at this BBQ restaurant near post.  Great name for a restaurant, and it was no doubt the best BBQ I have ever had.  I know it might be that I just came back from a deployment, and my taste buds are heightened some.  That just gives me more reasons to eat there again the next time I find myself in that city.  We also checked out some of the hurricane damage, and certain areas were hit very hard like this furniture store.  Except for the attention getter out front, the entire store was totaled. 

My wife Tiffany picked me up and we drove home together just chatting all the way.  After stopping by the local armory to sign in, we finally pulled into our driveway.  The dogs were in the back yard, and did not know I was home till they saw me through the sliding door once I stepped inside.  We were all just thrilled to have me home, and for the long haul.  Its been an intense journey, and a rough one at that.  Many people have asked me if I will continue to blog.  I have a few more posts regarding the mission, my spiritual journey, and those who did not come home alive.  Once I feel that I have 'debriefed' myself, the blog will close and this Soldier's life will be shared only with those close to me, Tiffany, Tegan, and Carys (our two dogs).  I thank all of you who supported me throughout this past year.  Please know that you are in my prayers as you step into a new day specifically given to you by God.  Also, remember that it's not about how much time you are given, but what you choose to put into that time.  I love you all, shawn

"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me.  Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it.  I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:10-13

Time Rolling Along

Morning devotional that I want to share with you all:

"A Watchful Eye:

The early American Indians had a unique practice in training their young braves.  On the night of their thirteenth birthday, after his fortitude and maturity had been tested by various trials in hunting, fishing, and scouting, he was placed in the center of a dense forest to spend the entire night alone.  It was an equivalent to his bar mitzvah or confirmation in the Judeo-Christian tradition, the sign of adulthood.  In a wood so thick that even the moonlight could not penetrate, he was left to the terrors of the darkness.  Every twig that snapped seemed like a wild animal ready to pounce.  Through the night he looked anxiously toward the east, awaiting the dawn.  After what seemed more like a month than a single night, the first ray of sunlight exposed the interior of the forest.  Slowly the young boy began to distinguish the bushes, the flowers, the path.  Then to his utter astonishment, he saw his father standing just a few feet away behind a tree, armed with a bow and arrow. 

     Don't you suppose the boy thought, 'If only I had known my father were there, I wouldn't have been afraid of anything'?  Hundreds of years earlier, Jesus had said to the sinking Peter and to the terrified disciples shipping water on the Lake Genesareth, 'Where is your faith?  Don't you know that my heavenly Father stands beside you night and day, armed not with a bow and arrow but with the love and power of His Spirit to ward off any danger?"    Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

I am sure you all get why I chose to share that one.  It just hit me right in the heart, in a good that is...

Things are going well here in the area of Iraq that I am in.  My platoon needed a break from the norm, so we had a horseshoe tournament one day as well as a Rook tournament.  SGT L and SGT H won the horse shoe tournament, and SGT H with a different partner (SPC B) won the Rook tourney.  It was a fun day.  We grilled out and put some cold drinks in the cooler.  It was our attempt at a cook out family type event at home, which we all miss so much. 

I went to another FOB for a few reasons which I can't post, but here are the pics from that trip, including one of the entrances to a large university in Iraq.  I took pics of the entrance about 7 months ago, and they have made some progress.  It appears to be slow progress, but progress nonetheless.  I heard most Iraqis only work 6 hours a day here, so maybe that is why progress is slow.  Unlike the US, people seemed to never be in too much of a hurry here. 

The other day I got a chance to just hang out with a couple guys in my platoon.  Two of us smoke cigars once in a while, so we bought some cubans from the local market.  Yes, they were real cubans, but dry they were.  I guess you can't have it all here in Iraq.  Well, far from it all and that is fine with me.  I would rather get fresh cigar or pipe tobacco in the states any day.  Please notice the lovely portajohn background in the picture of me.  There is no doubt they have a founding presence in my FOB. 

Also, Ramadan came on 4-5 October, and the past coalition force units have given a donation to the community.  So, we dug into our food closets and also gathered toys that had been shipped to us.  We passed them to our parent unit here, and these items were given out as a token of good presence.  I had one last shipment of beanie babies and toys that came in so that was the donation that my platoon made (really YOU ALL made the donation).  Thanks again for sending items.  I am sure more than a few children will not only have their day made, but also their week.  If you have more to send, please do not send them for I might not be here when they arrive and the package will be returned to you. 

Thanks again to all who support us in our mission here.  Freedom is more precious than ever. 

See Rock City

Those who have seen the many barns throughout the USA like this bldg, and we who live in TN might get a kick out of this picture.  Yes, even deployed Tennesseans have a sense of humor. 

Time Alone

I don't always share my spiritual life through the blog because of the lack of time, and just a general feeling of solitude with God here.  Once in a while I have a really great morning devotional time and just have to share it.  I actually meant to share this one weeks ago, but never got around to posting on it. 

"Experiencing Love:

     I realize that I don't love as much as I could or should.  I miss cues.  Sometimes I hear what a woman says but not what she means and wind up giving sage counsel to a nonproblem.  Distracted by a disturbing phone call, I left the monastery to give a talk to the inmates of the Trenton State Penitentiary and began with the outrageous greeting: 'Well, it's nice to see so many of you are here!'  And so it goes.  Frequently not in form, on top, or in control.  That is part of my poverty as a human being.  His impoverished spirit prevents the poor man from being a tyrant to himself. 

     In fact, if you asked a man who is poor in spirit to describe his prayer life, he might well answer, 'Most of the time my prayer consists in experiencing the absence of God in the hope of communion.'  He is not richly endowed with extraordinary graces and mystical experience.  Yet the experience of absence does not mean the absence of experience.  Like the Soldier in combat sneaking a look at his wife's picture tucked in his helmet, the experience of her absence does not mean at that moment the absence of an experience of her.  And somehow the poor man perceives that the goal of the spiritual life is not religious experience but union with God through love."  Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning 

"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple."  Psalm 27:4

As I over-analyze my spiritual life and growth each day, I find myself missing moments here and there, missing opportunities in the 'in betweens'.  I know that God is there when I need Him and when I don't need Him (which is never, but we all know how deceiving ourselves in this area can be easy).  Some days my plan of simplicity, silence, solitude, and surrender just fizzles like that old candy that crackled and disappeared in your mouth.  Even though my heart often feels as barren as most of this land, His grace trickles in when I least expect it.  It might occur while wrangling a smile out of an extremely frustrated Soldier or while a local tears up with a caged joy that is about to burst. 

To dwell is; to remain for a while, to live as a resident, and to keep the attention directed.  Yes, it is difficult to consistently dwell in the house of the Lord, but I remind myself that this journey is one that I am not alone in.  Christ not only will go with me, but is in me as well as in others along the way.  As I focus on my union with God and not the 'religious experiences', the path becomes more clear and exciting.  Yes the obstructions are still present, and I still skin my knee here and there, but I am not alone.  I am simply and joyfully not alone.   

Back In Iraq

As you can tell from the post title, I am now back from R and R.  Iraq did not change much since I was gone at home, but it is a tad cooler.  Tiffany and I planned to not have much planned (ha), and just take it day by day.  We did have a few things to accomplish around the house and had fun tackling the tasks together.  One of the local parks nearby had never experienced the Richardson clan presence, so we went for a day hike with the dogs. 

Time spent alone with Tiffany and the dogs enabled me to recharge my batteries.  We did see many of my nieces, nephews, brothers and sisters (in laws as well) at my parents house in Bham for Labor Day.  Also, when I was in the airport (US) heading back over here, my sister Nikki had a connecting flight at the same airport.  Through Tiffany and her cell phone, Nikki found me in the airport and we had about five minutes to catch up and wish each other safe traveling (she to Far East, me to Middle East).  Each stop on the way back to Iraq I either shot an email to my wife or called her.  The Army really has improved in the last 20 years on equipping Troops to communicate better with family members.  Morale basically hinders on that factor, so I am glad proper funding goes to that mission.

It was a event-less trip back (good thing), and so far the plan is to get back into the normal groove.  My guys are all doing well except for one Soldier in my platoon.  He went home on emergency leave because his brother-in-law died suddenly.  Please keep SGT S's family in your prayers. 

As you drive on in your day, keep your head up and your glass half full.  Things could always be worse for each of us.  Remember life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we react to it (Chuck Swindoll).  Gotta run, love you all....

Sorrow and Joy

As some of you may have heard and read, three Soldiers from the 278th were killed two weeks ago.  I always wait a while to write about KIAs, since families still need time to find out and start their mourning process.  I will not get into details of how they died (even though all the news articles I read were incorrect) since I am sharing my thoughts on them personally, rather than being a media outlet.  Of course the blogs sites end up being an information outlet, and that is fine.  It is just not my purpose for blogging. 

Shortly after the incident occurred, my platoon received the information that we lost three Soldiers from my fob.  We were all in a state of shock and devastation.  One minute you have those three troops, and the next minute they are gone.  SGT Reese and SPC Taylor were Soldiers that I had never met or remember bumping into at the fob.  SSG Hawn was a troop that I was familiar with and had seen multiple times around the fob.  He was in a leadership position/duty, which caused us to be in similar areas of the fob.  He was a Soldier of average height, but far from an average smile.  Once I heard who was killed, I immediately remembered seeing SSG Hawn in the days prior to his death.  I was stunned to think that he was not going home with us, and his early trip home would cause a lot of pain and sorrow.  I heard he was the only one of the three who had children, and one of the other guys was married as well as SSG Hawn.  It is hard to express sadness, when it becomes overwhelming.  Just a few days after the deaths, I took my platoon to the memorial service where commanders got a chance to share a few words about the fallen Soldiers.  We got one final opportunity to salute each of them as their Kevlars sat upon their weapons, and dog tags hanging as they would be around their necks.  Some Soldiers put military coins near the base of their weapons as a sign of respect and love.  My platoon is ever changed by the loss of these brave and selfless Soldiers.  I am changed by their supreme sacrifice for the safety of our country as well as Iraqis.

I put joy in the title of this post because I am on leave in the US with my wonderful wife.  Are things different at home?  Well, yes and no.  Our love for each other has grown stronger, and how much we value time together has increased.  Walking off the plane and seeing Tiffany was very surreal, and it did not feel real till she hugged and kissed me.  When I saw her, it was similar to when I first saw her walking down the isle on our wedding day.  People used to ask what I initially thought of her wedding dress.  I always told them that I did not even see the dress because my eyes were locked with hers.  Our eyes locked together in that airport just as they did during that amazing God filled day in February '03.  OK, no more sharing on that.  Its for us to chat about when we are old and in rocking chairs 40 years from now.  Once we got home, I walked in the door and was given multiple slobbering wet kisses from our two dogs.  Both had not changed a bit, and were just thrilled to see me.  The older of our two dogs I got during my first year of graduate school when Tiffany and I first started dating.  We both remember driving to the breeder's home and going crazy over the little puppy corgi.  She is now almost 6 years old and once she realized who I was, she was in a frenzy.  It was not long before I had a real shower, brushed my teeth from the sink (not with bottled water), had a real meal, got into civilian clothes, and just relaxed.  Yes, never underestimate the power of relaxing. 

The day I got home, Tiffany told me about SSG Hawn's funeral which was being held the following day in the town we live in.  I did not know if there was going to be a representative from my squadron in attendance.  Tiffany and I decided that we wanted to pay our respects and both celebrate his life and mourn his death.  There were many people at the church and he had full military honors during the service.  The commander of the RTI that commissioned me as a Lieutenant presented the awards and medals during the service.   'Be Thou My Vision' was playing in the background on the organ and many of his family spoke about how much of a hero he was and still is to them.  Just weeks prior to his death, one of his nieces was killed in a car wreck, so the family was already devastated.  The pastor that helped him grow in his relationship with Christ shared many words about Freddie's integrity, his love for Jesus, his family, and his passion for serving his country.  The pastor shared that he heard some local Iraqis started a memorial for the fallen troops.  SPC James K. Downs was also in the vehicle when the IED hit it.  He was not killed in the attack, but sustained multiple broken bones, and was severely burned on more than half of his body.  Please keep SPC Down's recovery in your prayers as well as the families of SSG Hawn, SGT Reece, and SPC Taylor. 

Thank you Gary for your life and service to our country..

Thank you Shannon for your life and service to our country..

Thank you Freddie for your life and service to our country..

http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/2005/nr20050815-4428.html

http://www.newschannel5.com/content/news/13781.asp

Been A While

Well, yet another long span between posts, sorry about that.  Those of you who step into positions of others while they are on vacation might understand what I am going through.  The sucky part about replacing someone is when more than one person needs to be replaced.  So, I have been doing my job, another full time job, and three other ones part time.  Needless to write much more, I simply have been busy.  Life here has its ups and downs, but if a troop can make the trip home to see his/her family, that is what matters.  I am happy to assist in any way I can.  Also, multi-tasking seems to be my life, and leading/managing people is my comfort zone. 

My guys are doing well considering they have been away from their families for almost 14 months.  One guy told me the other day that he has been home for 12 days in the last 14 months.  For those reading who are not directly effected by a deployed troop, imagine your loved one (husband,wife, son, daughter, etc) and take away all the memories that happened in the last 14 months.   Now, just pick 12 days (in a row), and think what you would do to hold onto your loved one.  Hopefully this imagination exercise will spark something, and when you get home, just hug him/her one or fifty extra times.  I won't even get into the subject of not ever seeing that person again.  I simply don't have it in me to write on that subject right now, but just feel like sharing my current thoughts.  For those spouses at home reading this, please know we are thinking of you and missing you terribly.  As my Senior TAC (teach access council) Officer in Officer Candidate School once told me, "it's always tougher on the one who doesn't leave".  We know that saying deployments are "rough" on spouses is simply an understatement.  Thank you for being strong, and standing behind your spouse.  Each of you are OUR heroes.

Sharing Gifts

Hey Everyone!  I am sorry it's been a while since I last posted.  I am filling in another position for a friend of mine, so am doing two jobs.  Needless to say, its been busy times here at the fob. 

I want to thank every family member, friend, acquaintance, and blog reader for sending items to me to hand out.  The adults and children thoroughly enjoyed receiving each and every item.  I am not sure who enjoyed it more, me or them, who knows?  Also, each guy in my platoon who went out on the missions got a chance to help the US give to the average person here.  The farmer who got some toys for his three children, the mother who received four goodie bags with school supplies for her kids, the old man who waited patiently for a winter coat, and all the children who received beanie babies, pencil, candy, school supplies,>>> THANK YOU SOO much for your generosity. 

I would list each person who sent items for the Iraqis, but the list would go on for pages and pages.  God knows who you are and personally saw each item you sent.  You might think you are an average American who lives and average life.  Well, that might be the case, but you are also a giver of yourself, which is far from average in this world. 

I am unsure when my time will end here in Iraq and really could not write about it even if I knew.  But, my time will end and I want to make sure no mail stays behind.   So, I ask that you cease in sending items at the end of July.  Sometimes mail gets here within three weeks, but sometimes months.  Heck, one of my guys got a valentines day card today in the mail.  Again, thank you sooooooooo much for supporting me here, and helping the Iraqi people as they strive for freedom, happiness, and liberty.

Poverty Thoughts

I started out my birthday morning with some quality one on One time.  It is so fitting that the day when we all expect to receive gifts (bdays), that I read about poverty: 

Not every Christian is given the call or the charism to heroic poverty; neither is any Christian excused from the gospel imperative of sharing his material resources with the poor (James  2:15-17).  John Woolman, a Quaker who died just before the American Revolution, wrote: "I found by experience that to keep pace with the actions of Truth, and never more but as that opens the way, is necessary for the true servants of Christ" (The Journal of John Woolman).  In the concrete circumstances of my life situation, what is the Lord Jesus Christ asking of me in the way of material poverty?  Desiring neither more nor less than Truth requires, what gesture (big or little) shall I make today as a sign of my unconditional trust in the Father?  The lofty principle of biblical poverty is realized on the pedestrian terrain of our daily experience.  16July Reflections for Ragamuffins.

Looking at His disciples, He said:

"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God."  Luke 6:20

Friday evening myself and four other troops in my platoon had prepped material gifts for Iraqis (pics above).  Go figure that God had taken my thoughts of me me me on my birthday, and given me another focus.  Sometimes we need reminders to see the trees and not just the forest.  Surely the Iraqis did not know that I went bearing gifts with a Christ loving heart.  But is it not the act of giving the love that penetrates the depths of our souls, rather than the material possessions shared?  Yes, its all just shared.  We really don't own anything in this life.  Did these acts of kindness representing America really penetrate their souls like it has mine?  I am unsure, and can only hope that God works ceasingly in their hearts like He does in mine. 

So, I continued my spirit filled morning as we loaded up our hummer with shoes, candy, clothes, beanie babies, and school supplies.  My guys were thrilled to get off the fob and help out Iraqis.  Many times we get wore out from having only human contact with each other.  I like my platoon and hanging out with them, but its nice to meet new Soldiers, Interpreters, or local nationals.  I enjoy seeing the expressions on their face as they speak Kurdish or Arabic to me.  I have no idea what they are really saying, but do have an idea by reading their body language.  Pain and exhaustion in their eyes is not uncommon.  I write a lot about seeing people smile here.  Well, its a univeral language in itself, and I can relate to smiling children when they run off with a new pair of shoes, or with an old man who stood patiently till I found a cold weather coat for him.  His very tan, wrinkled old face lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw what I was handing him.  I will never look and feel the same as I see others smiling.  We are simply all entitled to be happy and have the liberties to make life the best it can be for our families.  They are no different than a smiling college college student making his or her first new friend, a proud set of parents during a birth, or someone who just got promoted at their job.  Other than my genes and faith choice, I am no different than them. 

We unloaded the back of my truck and kids were going crazy as usual.  One boy was grabbing just a little too much so I had to get firm with him.  No worries, he got the message without me turning into crazy Shawn, haha.  One of our medics used the technic of showing them a needle and joking with them about getting a shot.  That really made them back off.  It was funny and the adults joined in on the laughter along with the kids who figured out he was joking with them.  Another medic on a different mission told the kids that he was hungry and he eats little children as a snack.  Yes, he made sure they knew he was kidding.  He is also 6'4" 310lbs, so they were just in awe seeing him anyway.  Boy, our medics are either nuts or really funny.  Its probably a combination, who knows, haha.  Once all of the supplies were given out, we headed back to the fob.  My boys talked about how much fun they had and that they can't wait to do it again.  The enemy still is cowardly and does not show his/her face.  IEDs, and car bombs are still the big threat here, so getting out on the roads provides a risk.  Even with that risk, my guys still want to help out Iraqis.  My platoon's function is maintenance, and most of the time we are working on keeping our fleet running.  So, if my guys thought the risk was not worth the reward, they could probably never leave the fob till they get home.  My guys think beyond their safety and want to make a difference in building this country.  bbb No, despite the news reports, we are not REbuilding here.  We are basically building from the ground up.  In my region of Iraq, Saddam killed over 5,000 Kurds in two weeks.  This was years ago and the scars still run deep.  We have a local national who works on and off our fob that I can share about.  Saddam's henchmen shot his brothers, his dad, and cut off his tongue.  He motions a lot and makes sounds trying to communicate.  He is a great guy and an extremely hard worker.   He will show the world that he is worth something, just like each Iraqi.  Is it worth it for the US to be here in Iraq helping these living breathing people?  Yes, it most definitely is.

"You only have what you give. It's by spending yourself that you become rich." Isabel Allende

Thanks so much to my wife, and ALL family and friends who made this the best Bday someone could have in Iraq.  Thank you to each of you sent shoes, clothing, school supplies, beanie babies, and candy.  The Iraqis I met were thrilled by your generosity and effort!